WfMC officially announces today a new modeling, programming, diagramming, and execution language known as IJKLMN. This language is intended for every possible use and by people in all job functions.
The language is the result of years of research into organizational work. Non-organizational work is “force times distance”, but organizational work is considerably trickier. The use of force within an organization is shunned, and sometimes has the effect of going negative distance. This language is is designed to “work within the hierarchy” and to “be persuasive toward achieving goals”. Some claim it is truly a breakthrough milestone achievement.
One WfMC official was quoted saying: “I used it this morning to cook my breakfast! It was great!” The applications are seemingly boundless.
But the name is a mouthful of seemingly incoherent letters. When asked, the managing director said: “We wanted to find a catchy name, but when we looked for a corresponding domain name, they were all taken. So then we switched to just an acronym, but we found all four and five letter acronyms are already taken as domain names. We then started with “ABCDEF” worked forward, and this was the first string of six letters that was available as a domain name. So we grabbed it.”
Others had a different view: “that is not at all how it went. We know that propeller-heads love acronyms because it makes them sound important to their friends. We decided to go boldly to the six-letter acronym and we think this will be incredibly kewl. [sic] We are also thinking of starting with version 3.0, since 2.0 is so ‘last decade’.” Another committee member was overhead saying “there is a positive correlation between research project funding amount, and the length of the acronyms used.”
What does it mean? We heard two explanations. One group said it stood for “International Job Koding Language Modeling Notation”, but another group, equally insistent, said that it meant “International Job Koding Language and Model and Notation”. What is the difference? Nobody was able to say.
How does IJKLMN work? It works everywhere. That is the great thing, it is both universal and ubiquitous (known as a “2U” language). Standardization of this new language will start with the initial organization meeting next month, and the resulting spec will be available real soon. Never before, have so many been astounded by so little.
A noted author and analyst says “This language fills a much needed gap in the technology space.”
The world waits in anticipation on this April 1, 2010.
Hi Keith, this is absolutely fantastic. I think IJKLMN 3.0 will change the world. The 2U concept is so simle and convincing, that we will immediately implement it in Papyrus. Actually, as we started this morning we should be done by now — you know how fast things can be modeled in our system. I think it is really important to be fast today, because maybe tomorrow someone will come along and invent OPQRST — Omniscent Process Query by Rule-Semantic Tagging. Time is of essence. April 2nd is usually a day on which yesterdays breakthroughs seem to be today’s folly. Thanks, Keith for bringing this amazing news to us.
The only thing that I am not sure about
Sorry to burst your bubble, Keith, but I think a dentist from Queens invented that in 1999. You should be hearing from his lawyers shortly.